So this is it...

You'll never realize the meaning of lonely as it only creeps upon you as you sit in a corner far behind the back of the building hallway....as loud, cheers, laughters, and chatters fill the other end of the hall...and that's when you realize;

"oh it's lunchtime already? boy I'm hungry"

and trotters along to the loud noisy hallway,blending in the atmosphere and the sea of people,

"for belly filling joy"

Seriously,...might have been that I've lived too much by myself...that it doesn't bother me as much anymore about the art of mingling... It might just dawn upon me how much I miss having company to get my schedule up straight as exhaustion seeps upon me.

leave home to catch the bus to campus 6 miles away, attend classes one after another, still getting lost along the way every once in a while, slowly leafing through my file, in search of the campus map provided during late students orientation only to be kindly asked by passerby if I needed help with direction before my eyes could skim through the map.

All worn out by the end of class, would then trudge home and up the flights of stairs, get changed, and lay on bed...lifeless...ahh bed time comes early this past week. I'll then be dead to the world till the clock strikes twelve...ironic how uncinderellaish my body would awaken itself....then off i would go to the bathroom for one quick shower...

Upon returning to my room...I'm more or less often greeted by a knock on my foor....housmie just dropping by to say hi....then it's back to staring at notes, textbooks, assignments.....and hurried pen scrawls etching upon paper with chicken scrawls and pen smudges to complete the day's work....in an effort to beat time at it's own game...

ahh....then off the cycle begins....of a brand new day....

This past week, I've realized how my infatuation has slowly seeped away and my infatuation towards greeny has slowly dwindled down to nothingness..as though it too, has been chucked far into the trash bins as I cleared out and sorted my life to move 480 miles way just one week before....so much so I can't differentiate my feelings towards it anymore...no sadness no pain, just silence and so I lied back then when you asked when I claimed I no longer felt an ounce of pain, just silence...of infatuation towards him then, as it was like a silent addiction....which only creep it's way up in those cold bitter winter nights...when the mind is but an empty vast of mindless thoughts...

So here's a toast...to a brand new beginning, a slate wiped clean...and here's one last toast, to the diminishing infatuation....may you find the world of happiness in your life along the journey of life greeny....