Happy Happy

Blubbie......

I finally talked to JR again after one year since she left US.....So happy can......i thought she was mad at me and wasn't going to talk to me for lifeT__________T...apparently she thought i was the one mad at her hohohoho.......

so errr it's high time i divorce you again and marry her....ahahaha=x cough cough...just kidding...

I wish she was still here though but i guess maybe her decision to start all over again back home could work out better for her...but i miss having her aroundT___________T....I am dying of boredom living a hermit life....cough yes la i super lazy to go out one cough cough

So we talked and catched up on everything we missed out on in life and what nots one year back...

I'm hoping I'll see her soon....maybe in a couple of years....at least she hugs me okay not like you everytime i demand for a hug....have to end up pleading after getting kicked non stop....

Ya...won't be updating the food blog for sometime okay cause all i've been eating is err......instant food(don't tell my mother......she always remind me to eat every few hours because she's scared i might get gastric)

Yala...somemore my mumsie will come chat with me at random hours to see if i got sleep or notT_______________________T....i so wanted to talk to her but have to pretend i'm not online so that she won't scold me for burning the midnight oil every night....haiz what to do.....i'm the tong sampah of the group..everything thrown in my way also i won't say no cause my grades will be in jeopardy...

Yay and weekend is coming and I am going to watch Avenue Q tomorrow with my friend....so excited i've been wanting to watch it long ago but never had the chance.

Anyway gotta go my contact is being irritable and it's almost five and I haven't had lunch..=(

Chicago

Too many sad post....so resolution....for each sad post must make a happy post...

Chicago was fun......it definitely gave me the break i needed...making friends along the way...walked dunno how many miles enough to allow me to be a glutton haha...

Went to chinatown with a german couple Anna and don't remember her boyfriend's name..he's french sorry...showed them around chinatown and eventually qent to Penang for malaysian food...hoho....was fun...the hostel room i stayed in was 4 german girls,all in the states to be au pairs....and angelica from California whom i eventually hung out with=)

Not many pictures la.....sad part is everything closes by 8leh!!!I forgot as I first thought eh maybe cause it's earth hour...but not la.....haiz....i walked from wabash ave to michigan ave and only thing opened were fast foodT_Tsianz.....so i walked back to this thai restaurant and the lady who served me went "you again" cause i was there for lunch...hhaha....what to do la....

And of course i never fail to lose my sense of directionT___________T.....i was looking for the tram to navy pier, yet instead I got lost and somehow managed to walk all the way there in 1.5 hoursT____________________T

Turn back time.....

Remember how we were talking on msn about it.....

Somehow i wish this was possible,to undo all the misery i've cause, to undo all wrongs....to make things better somehow=(

There's so much i wish i could undo...but i guess there never will be the chance seeing that i've taken things for granted...

Looking back, there's so much i could have done to be a better person...but it's too late to even think about it anymore...

Maybe it's been months of babbling cause i really fear bout the last few months of studies.....i really can't fail to pass everythingT_T.....what am I going to do.....how many years of school has it been seeing that i decided to changes things....

I've let down too many people in the past....

I've also realized that I'm exactly the kind of person who keeps to herself if i ever need help or get into trouble...

People think it's silly and stupid but they fail to understand that my logic is that if I get myself into trouble, it's bad enough to put myself into misery so much so that i should not drag anyone down with me. I look at it in such that I know i've disappointed myself so much...i couldn't bear to look anyone in the eyes and see the pain and disappointment they are bound to show.


It's true that no man's an island....but I have faith in myself each time I have to get out of unwanted situations....eventually I will even though it may not be the most ideal method, I know I want to correct things bad enough that I'll research through matters to find methods to resolve things...

So I guess funnily enough, without much realization, I'm a lot more independent that I give myself credit for...