It's sad but it's true.....sob sob.....
It breaks my heart to have to say soT____________T
But we're so not meant to be....
We've had some happy times...but it'll never work in the long run...
Nah I compiled a list of reasons why:
1. Eh you cannot speak hokkien how la are we going to last long...like how if one day we're in front of a group of people...and i need to say breakwind la...if you can speak hokkien right....i can whisper to you loudly eh jean wa ai pang pui liao....but you cannot understand then how la...i ma no faceT_________________T
2. You're so abusiveT______________T i am a gentle soul okay...i like hugs and piggyback rides but you would always kick meT__________________T
3. You're always flirting how how......
Okay la...i am so sweet you are not..that's the end bai bai...
Sunday, June 29, 2008
China picsss
Night view of Shanghai, very beautiful (10x nicer than my crappy pics T_T)
White peacock.. first time see.. so nice haha (even though I'm scared of birds)
The whole tour group.. all aunties and uncles T_T
Hehe.. bought this shirt and khaki pants in China.. very cheap ;)
White peacock.. first time see.. so nice haha (even though I'm scared of birds)
The whole tour group.. all aunties and uncles T_T
Hehe.. bought this shirt and khaki pants in China.. very cheap ;)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Future
Seriously, I don't know what my future holds for me.
I can't even imagine myself three months from now, what kind of job will I be holding? Will I be studying?
I don't even know what I want to do. I do have a dream. But money, talent and passion are really at opposite ends of the scale. It's hard to balance, it's hard to chose. What I'm good at, I'm probably not interested. What I enjoy doing, I probably am not good enough.
Now I fully understand what is it like to be at a crossroad. A crossroad leading to the next phase of my life. Which of the possibilities are for me?
I'm lost. Passively waiting... leaving the choice to others, letting others decide my fate.
I can't even imagine myself three months from now, what kind of job will I be holding? Will I be studying?
I don't even know what I want to do. I do have a dream. But money, talent and passion are really at opposite ends of the scale. It's hard to balance, it's hard to chose. What I'm good at, I'm probably not interested. What I enjoy doing, I probably am not good enough.
Now I fully understand what is it like to be at a crossroad. A crossroad leading to the next phase of my life. Which of the possibilities are for me?
I'm lost. Passively waiting... leaving the choice to others, letting others decide my fate.
Change
Slowly, one by one, I'm starting to get sick and push away things I used to do, things I'm supposed to be responsible for. Where am I heading? For change? Or maybe I just need a break. But no matter how much I rest, it never seems to be enough. I guess I've lost my purpose and goal. Until I find a job heeheee...
Don't know what to write...
I remember I started a diary in secondary school because I didn’t want to forget. I wanted to be able to look back and remember the past I had. Things I have lost and gained. How I have grown and changed. I’m not sure whether I’ll look at my past in joy , pity or sorrow. What I wanted is probably to cherish and savour the minutes and hours I’ve lived, every inch I’ve walked on earth.
But it’s not the same anymore. Words don’t come out as easily. Neither does tears. They’re all bottled up, sealed in a package and mailed to an unknown, faraway place deep down my heart. To be sunk, never to be located, touched or opened again. But there’s a rock bottom even in the deepest of oceans, and all our troubles, worries and insecurities can never disappear. They’ll just pile up silently-- insignificant dust particles that you clean up today only to find another layer forming tomorrow.
There are times where I want to dig up all the mess, to let it all out. To tell someone how lost I am, how scared I am, how disgusted I am, how upset I am. Of the future, of my life, of everything -- all the ramblings in my heart, no matter how silly and frivolous they are. But my screams turned silent before they reach my throat--struggling, choked and eventually turning cold, strangled by the monster called ‘reason’.
All the words I want to say, all my thoughts and feelings are rash, hurtful, inconsiderate and selfish. I know perfectly what I should do, how I should behave, how I should compromise to make people around me and probably myself happy. I should be mature, I should be considerate, I should be accommodating… And it’s precisely because I know that I can’t bring myself to say the words out aloud.
So I’m smiling. I don’t mind. Nothing’s bothering me. Everything’s fine, everything’s okay,. Everything’s just… suppressed. I write only to find myself not knowing where to start, how to start. I write only to find my heart sealed with carefully phrased and decorated words. As one grows up, words don’t mean a thing anymore. Because people no longer listen, they no longer understand.
But it’s not the same anymore. Words don’t come out as easily. Neither does tears. They’re all bottled up, sealed in a package and mailed to an unknown, faraway place deep down my heart. To be sunk, never to be located, touched or opened again. But there’s a rock bottom even in the deepest of oceans, and all our troubles, worries and insecurities can never disappear. They’ll just pile up silently-- insignificant dust particles that you clean up today only to find another layer forming tomorrow.
There are times where I want to dig up all the mess, to let it all out. To tell someone how lost I am, how scared I am, how disgusted I am, how upset I am. Of the future, of my life, of everything -- all the ramblings in my heart, no matter how silly and frivolous they are. But my screams turned silent before they reach my throat--struggling, choked and eventually turning cold, strangled by the monster called ‘reason’.
All the words I want to say, all my thoughts and feelings are rash, hurtful, inconsiderate and selfish. I know perfectly what I should do, how I should behave, how I should compromise to make people around me and probably myself happy. I should be mature, I should be considerate, I should be accommodating… And it’s precisely because I know that I can’t bring myself to say the words out aloud.
So I’m smiling. I don’t mind. Nothing’s bothering me. Everything’s fine, everything’s okay,. Everything’s just… suppressed. I write only to find myself not knowing where to start, how to start. I write only to find my heart sealed with carefully phrased and decorated words. As one grows up, words don’t mean a thing anymore. Because people no longer listen, they no longer understand.
Long time no see
Yoyo long time no seee
Got miss me or not?
I moved house ages ago.. Let you see my beautiful room bah ahaha
My brother's room
My sister's room
Got miss me or not?
I moved house ages ago.. Let you see my beautiful room bah ahaha
My brother's room
My sister's room
Monday, May 12, 2008
Fading....
The lingering memories are slowly fading...heart fails to hold the grasp as it slowly slips past...and so this is goodbye.......
Monday, May 5, 2008
People, Just Like Family
Friends......can't live without themT_________________T<=yes even though I'm a proclaimed hermit, I need to talk to these people online almost weeklyT___________T
In kindergarten, I had an abundance number of friends.....
In primary school....i had many friends.....some whom i would quarrel with and be friends again within minutes....
In secondary I had a number of friends.....
In college, I had some friends....
In university, I have a handful of friendsT_____T
However, there's just a handful of those would never cease to appear in my time of needsT_________T....so kamtung okay....there's always there to cheer me up.....to accompany me places, gives advice, fulfilling my evil dreams with meT__________T
So here goes in no particular order.....okayla...got order=x.....by when I met themT____________T
SM:
I first met her in high school okay.....even before my best friend became the head prefect, I knew she had leadership=x..hahahaha.....see la i elected you to be our lab row leader okay=xcough cough cause you look quite garang then cough cough.....I then knew that we were meant to be best friends for life all because you were so nice to me in form 1.T______________T....you remember the stupid NILAM program before kanimari became our NILAM advisor whereby we really had to read a book for one hour? I had the worst tummy ache one day during NILAMT______________T and you were there for meT__________Tso sweet i so kamtung even after 11 years later..see la I knew we would be best buddies then*kembang*......you accompanied me to the rest room twiceT_T because you were scared I would passed out or won't have the energy to unlock the lock in our class bathroomT______________T....then when nilam session started, you let me sleep on your knee for one whole hour till there was a red spot on your leg where my head rested upon without complaining about my heavy head...so sweetT________T.....while lending me your hand literally for the whole hour to squeeze till it became white after an hour, brushing my hair every once a while to ask me if i am still in much pain while whispering loudly with the rest of the NILAM gossiping gang so that I can hear without missing out on juicy gossips while in painT_T...
We then went for tuitions together whereby you had to endure embarrassments when we go out makan without the gang before tuition because i would walk in the chap fan shop, survey then walk out because I don't see anything I like while your face turn beet red because the mand had scooped rice onto a plate assuming we were patronsT_T...i never did tell him eh i want to eat okayT_T...even though you were so paiseh you tolerated meT_T....and you would give in to my cravingsT_T for briyani and we would walk further to get them.....while sharing the big super gulp which i drink 2/3 of=__________=...even back then i was a water tank...while i would throw all my unwanted dishes from my nasi lemak to your packet while you so kindly peel my fish for meT___________T...because i would end up trying with no avail to debone my own fish....nagging me with a watchful eye to eat the egg white because i was too picky so now i eat the whole egg happily as a grown up=x
We were Kemahiran Hidup partners, and before I left for college, I could not even boil water on a stoveT____________T<=i was scared of the gas stove......and we had to cook fish...ahahahaha...i still remember us freaking out because the fish got stuck in on the pan when we tried to flip it...hahaha.....why so cacat one.....=x......and remember how we took home our shares and our parents dare not try...hahahahhaa......actually the fish came out great la okay...cough cough thanks to your bravery for finally flipping it like my own personal hang tuah=x....but the vege came out bland...hahahhahaa.....
The girl whom I talked to everyday on the phone after school...hahahaha....and my parents always asked got so much to talk meh=_________=...you just saw each other like 10 hours in school=x
When i was in college, you would call me up weeklyT______________T....because you told me it's cheaper for you to call instead because my number was considered outstation being in klT_________________T......talking to me for hours...T_T.....calling me on my birthday to wish meT___________T
You even checked my SPM result for me before me dad went to relinquish me from worriesT_T...
Even now while i'm in the states i would call you and you would always willingly listen to meT_T.....
I don't ever know what I would have done had we not been friendsT____________________T
So here's to a good 11 years*don't pretend la...old say old la=x* and many more to come.....
JR
My first college friendT_________T...we've had our ups and downs.....
We clicked off the moment we met on orientation night....then became buddies overnight......luck has it you even ran into my dad before knowing he was my dad...see la fate okay we'll be friends for life..hoho....
We both would gabber away complaining about how mundane lessons were in the dreaded english prereq which turn out quite fun after all....
hanging out everyday be it for classes or for fun....=)...sunway was our place....walking all the way daily to eat......you would always tolerate me because i was still picky on food thenT__________T.....and we would go to your favorite comic store which I was not too big of a fan because I was a banana then and they were all in chineseT_____________T...giving in to me to take the cab back for a 3 mins ride to hostel because I hated walking under the scorching sun...
I was sad when you decided to move out of the hostel...you were always there for me though....when I got so sick with fever and no voice, you ran all the way from your block to mine just to make sure I had my medicationT_T....you listened to me croack my barney song while tolerating me kindly...T_T
Oh how I miss those days when we would hang out for sleepovers at your place watching DVDS, going to pasar malams, summit, and kl.......
you taught me how to catch a bus in kl remember=P
So we came to the states and I wasn't a great friend the very last semester you were hereT_____________T.....because we had our own friends, and I failed to realized situations you were in.....I am truly sorry for being such a horrible friend and had thought you were mad at me which i should think I deserved one year after you decided to leaveT_T....It was lonely without you here.....but I was more concern about you..till you decided to come online again one year after.....and it made me smile to learn that you were never mad at me..with that I thank you...
I promise to be a greater friend for our friendship meant a lot to me.....you had always been there for me my whole college life... who truly stood by me all the while even till know=)
Jean blubbie:
My soulmateT___________T
Remember the first day we met jean....oh how I should have thank my lucky stars that I decided to move with Sugi when she told me she was allergic to the carpeted room even though living with her meant i had to sleep with lights on for two yearsT_T...else we would never have met=)
I still remember the vivid image of how we met....
You were sweeping your room floor=_________________=...so unclassy=xahahahahhaha.....=xcough cough
I wouldn't have had the guts to talk to you had it not been for your shirtT_T
You were wearing the same identical shirt I had which came in a different colours....I seriously knew then we were soulmates there and there even with you being an ah sam fashion of floor sweeping okay*big shiny eyes.
Seriously though...haha it's not what you think okay...your version was whylah my new housmie so mean oneT_T...the look she gave me was like i stole her shirt....i never once thought that okay...cough cough....
Who knew would would have been such loving friends...cough cough....
The one person I rarely disagree or had a fight withT______________T
We shared everything.....our clothes, our grocery bills, our cooking chores.....except you wouldn't share your bolsieT__________T
There was one time though that I still owe you an apology...you were so sweet to let me use your laptop while i was waiting for mine for 2 whole months dailyT___________T....even leaving it behind when you went home...why you so sweet.....but there was once you accidentally spilled my milk on you own laptop and you were worried about my disc assignment instead of your own laptopT__________T you are the most selfless person I know and I'm sorry you had to worry about my assignments...I love you to bits.....
We did almost everything together too.....we went out together, tabao food together....go shopping together....gossip together=x
You were like a younger sister I never had=)..and you'll always be like a sister to me....
I'll never forget the birthday gifts you send me and care packages while I am here in the states to cheer me up.....
Talk rubbish with me even while you're busy with assignments till 5am in the morning just to accomodate my hoursT_________T...console me when I needed it most....
Even agreeing to fulfill my dream with me in a few years time.....one of which we'll make come true okay.....=).....we find la submissive husbands who would agree to having us build a connecting bridges to our homes so that we can send our kids safely to play together while having meals together=)....and we're going to be housmies again soon...in a couple of years..think of the terror...hahaha...basil coming too=x...and we'll get a terrier okay.....=)
I also felt so touched when in my last year of college in sunway, you would come all the way with sam to kl just so I wouldn't be lonely for my birthday..thank youT_T...and i still have the humongous bear you guys gave me....even though my mother hid it in the cupboard so that it wouldn't collect dust and she wouldn't have to wash an extra plushie when I come back for vacationsT_T
We've met up yearly without fail=) each of my vacations...whereby you would always compromised to my decision and my ppk ness....T_T...coming all the way to the north because I wouldn't go to jb=x......our kl trip whereby I realized how much I miss having you aroundT_T
Those were the days when we were so kiasu and we would plug in three mouse on your laptop just to play the NBA game just so we could shoot more balls into the net to win the game....
Now...you have blossomed into a sweet pretty young lady still petite as ever while your other half here has blossomed sideways into a little teapotT____________T...oh the irony...but oppposites attract eh....
I know we'll always be the best of friends just because there's no one I rather have than you to bring up our kids with while slowing growing old watching dramas with....
So i sayang you banyak banyak and we'll meet again soon enough eh=)
EW
My prettiest ever college mate....the girl who had it all...the brains,the beauty, yet the most demure and down to earth none snooty girl I've known.T_T.....
Always there with me for classes when others would ponteng and we had to sign like 6 signatures in malaysian studies class so much so that the lecturer hated usT_T for signing the attendance sheet for them....you never failed to come to class even though you don't feel like it because you knew I would be aloneT_________T
Always tolerating my crazy ideas in class...never letting me die of boredom in class by doing crazy stuff with me...
I miss those days...
You were also always there to help me like when I had to moveT____________T
I miss those days when we were closer.....sadly we've drifted apart upon coming to the states....however....i know we'll always be friends because you're one friend I would want to ever lose
Remember how were we musketeers in class=)
SS
Dearest Sharon....=)
The sweetest girl who never had a bad bone in her.....
You were like a sister to me here..pshaw....who cares if were's of different race la....haha..like we've always said.....we're the unique twins...haha...
An elder sister you were..always worring about this silly girl......looking after me....
Thank to you, I never had to feel lonely=)
You were always making sure I had my meals...haha...bringing me little snacks and fulfilling my briyani cravings which was almost weekly...making me my favorite fish patties when i craved for them....
Visiting me almost every saturday while i was at work..popping in to see how i was doing=)
Even after you left, you never fail to watch over me...haha...calling me up weekly for my hourly chats...
I am ultimately grateful for all your advice,tolerance on my nonsense which was many....hehe....
Remember the time we walked home from target and it took us 2 hours and yet you were happy to do it with my spur of moment craziness...
OUr bus days are gone...if you were still in this county, I would have gladly drove you anywhere you needed...
But texas is only but a few hundred miles away=) and i promise to visit you soon....till then it'll be our weekly calls...
So these are among the five girls that I could never live without and would not dare imagine what it'll be like had I not known them=(....
Ya all girls cause I am scared of guys cause I dunno why...hahah just kidding...
So everytime I would think I have no one to talk to, all I have to do is look back on memories I've had with them...and rmeember...that they will always be there for me....
Even when I look like an obese teapot..all short and stout
In kindergarten, I had an abundance number of friends.....
In primary school....i had many friends.....some whom i would quarrel with and be friends again within minutes....
In secondary I had a number of friends.....
In college, I had some friends....
In university, I have a handful of friendsT_____T
However, there's just a handful of those would never cease to appear in my time of needsT_________T....so kamtung okay....there's always there to cheer me up.....to accompany me places, gives advice, fulfilling my evil dreams with meT__________T
So here goes in no particular order.....okayla...got order=x.....by when I met themT____________T
SM:
I first met her in high school okay.....even before my best friend became the head prefect, I knew she had leadership=x..hahahaha.....see la i elected you to be our lab row leader okay=xcough cough cause you look quite garang then cough cough.....I then knew that we were meant to be best friends for life all because you were so nice to me in form 1.T______________T....you remember the stupid NILAM program before kanimari became our NILAM advisor whereby we really had to read a book for one hour? I had the worst tummy ache one day during NILAMT______________T and you were there for meT__________Tso sweet i so kamtung even after 11 years later..see la I knew we would be best buddies then*kembang*......you accompanied me to the rest room twiceT_T because you were scared I would passed out or won't have the energy to unlock the lock in our class bathroomT______________T....then when nilam session started, you let me sleep on your knee for one whole hour till there was a red spot on your leg where my head rested upon without complaining about my heavy head...so sweetT________T.....while lending me your hand literally for the whole hour to squeeze till it became white after an hour, brushing my hair every once a while to ask me if i am still in much pain while whispering loudly with the rest of the NILAM gossiping gang so that I can hear without missing out on juicy gossips while in painT_T...
We then went for tuitions together whereby you had to endure embarrassments when we go out makan without the gang before tuition because i would walk in the chap fan shop, survey then walk out because I don't see anything I like while your face turn beet red because the mand had scooped rice onto a plate assuming we were patronsT_T...i never did tell him eh i want to eat okayT_T...even though you were so paiseh you tolerated meT_T....and you would give in to my cravingsT_T for briyani and we would walk further to get them.....while sharing the big super gulp which i drink 2/3 of=__________=...even back then i was a water tank...while i would throw all my unwanted dishes from my nasi lemak to your packet while you so kindly peel my fish for meT___________T...because i would end up trying with no avail to debone my own fish....nagging me with a watchful eye to eat the egg white because i was too picky so now i eat the whole egg happily as a grown up=x
We were Kemahiran Hidup partners, and before I left for college, I could not even boil water on a stoveT____________T<=i was scared of the gas stove......and we had to cook fish...ahahahaha...i still remember us freaking out because the fish got stuck in on the pan when we tried to flip it...hahaha.....why so cacat one.....=x......and remember how we took home our shares and our parents dare not try...hahahahhaa......actually the fish came out great la okay...cough cough thanks to your bravery for finally flipping it like my own personal hang tuah=x....but the vege came out bland...hahahhahaa.....
The girl whom I talked to everyday on the phone after school...hahahaha....and my parents always asked got so much to talk meh=_________=...you just saw each other like 10 hours in school=x
When i was in college, you would call me up weeklyT______________T....because you told me it's cheaper for you to call instead because my number was considered outstation being in klT_________________T......talking to me for hours...T_T.....calling me on my birthday to wish meT___________T
You even checked my SPM result for me before me dad went to relinquish me from worriesT_T...
Even now while i'm in the states i would call you and you would always willingly listen to meT_T.....
I don't ever know what I would have done had we not been friendsT____________________T
So here's to a good 11 years*don't pretend la...old say old la=x* and many more to come.....
JR
My first college friendT_________T...we've had our ups and downs.....
We clicked off the moment we met on orientation night....then became buddies overnight......luck has it you even ran into my dad before knowing he was my dad...see la fate okay we'll be friends for life..hoho....
We both would gabber away complaining about how mundane lessons were in the dreaded english prereq which turn out quite fun after all....
hanging out everyday be it for classes or for fun....=)...sunway was our place....walking all the way daily to eat......you would always tolerate me because i was still picky on food thenT__________T.....and we would go to your favorite comic store which I was not too big of a fan because I was a banana then and they were all in chineseT_____________T...giving in to me to take the cab back for a 3 mins ride to hostel because I hated walking under the scorching sun...
I was sad when you decided to move out of the hostel...you were always there for me though....when I got so sick with fever and no voice, you ran all the way from your block to mine just to make sure I had my medicationT_T....you listened to me croack my barney song while tolerating me kindly...T_T
Oh how I miss those days when we would hang out for sleepovers at your place watching DVDS, going to pasar malams, summit, and kl.......
you taught me how to catch a bus in kl remember=P
So we came to the states and I wasn't a great friend the very last semester you were hereT_____________T.....because we had our own friends, and I failed to realized situations you were in.....I am truly sorry for being such a horrible friend and had thought you were mad at me which i should think I deserved one year after you decided to leaveT_T....It was lonely without you here.....but I was more concern about you..till you decided to come online again one year after.....and it made me smile to learn that you were never mad at me..with that I thank you...
I promise to be a greater friend for our friendship meant a lot to me.....you had always been there for me my whole college life... who truly stood by me all the while even till know=)
Jean blubbie:
My soulmateT___________T
Remember the first day we met jean....oh how I should have thank my lucky stars that I decided to move with Sugi when she told me she was allergic to the carpeted room even though living with her meant i had to sleep with lights on for two yearsT_T...else we would never have met=)
I still remember the vivid image of how we met....
You were sweeping your room floor=_________________=...so unclassy=xahahahahhaha.....=xcough cough
I wouldn't have had the guts to talk to you had it not been for your shirtT_T
You were wearing the same identical shirt I had which came in a different colours....I seriously knew then we were soulmates there and there even with you being an ah sam fashion of floor sweeping okay*big shiny eyes.
Seriously though...haha it's not what you think okay...your version was whylah my new housmie so mean oneT_T...the look she gave me was like i stole her shirt....i never once thought that okay...cough cough....
Who knew would would have been such loving friends...cough cough....
The one person I rarely disagree or had a fight withT______________T
We shared everything.....our clothes, our grocery bills, our cooking chores.....except you wouldn't share your bolsieT__________T
There was one time though that I still owe you an apology...you were so sweet to let me use your laptop while i was waiting for mine for 2 whole months dailyT___________T....even leaving it behind when you went home...why you so sweet.....but there was once you accidentally spilled my milk on you own laptop and you were worried about my disc assignment instead of your own laptopT__________T you are the most selfless person I know and I'm sorry you had to worry about my assignments...I love you to bits.....
We did almost everything together too.....we went out together, tabao food together....go shopping together....gossip together=x
You were like a younger sister I never had=)..and you'll always be like a sister to me....
I'll never forget the birthday gifts you send me and care packages while I am here in the states to cheer me up.....
Talk rubbish with me even while you're busy with assignments till 5am in the morning just to accomodate my hoursT_________T...console me when I needed it most....
Even agreeing to fulfill my dream with me in a few years time.....one of which we'll make come true okay.....=).....we find la submissive husbands who would agree to having us build a connecting bridges to our homes so that we can send our kids safely to play together while having meals together=)....and we're going to be housmies again soon...in a couple of years..think of the terror...hahaha...basil coming too=x...and we'll get a terrier okay.....=)
I also felt so touched when in my last year of college in sunway, you would come all the way with sam to kl just so I wouldn't be lonely for my birthday..thank youT_T...and i still have the humongous bear you guys gave me....even though my mother hid it in the cupboard so that it wouldn't collect dust and she wouldn't have to wash an extra plushie when I come back for vacationsT_T
We've met up yearly without fail=) each of my vacations...whereby you would always compromised to my decision and my ppk ness....T_T...coming all the way to the north because I wouldn't go to jb=x......our kl trip whereby I realized how much I miss having you aroundT_T
Those were the days when we were so kiasu and we would plug in three mouse on your laptop just to play the NBA game just so we could shoot more balls into the net to win the game....
Now...you have blossomed into a sweet pretty young lady still petite as ever while your other half here has blossomed sideways into a little teapotT____________T...oh the irony...but oppposites attract eh....
I know we'll always be the best of friends just because there's no one I rather have than you to bring up our kids with while slowing growing old watching dramas with....
So i sayang you banyak banyak and we'll meet again soon enough eh=)
EW
My prettiest ever college mate....the girl who had it all...the brains,the beauty, yet the most demure and down to earth none snooty girl I've known.T_T.....
Always there with me for classes when others would ponteng and we had to sign like 6 signatures in malaysian studies class so much so that the lecturer hated usT_T for signing the attendance sheet for them....you never failed to come to class even though you don't feel like it because you knew I would be aloneT_________T
Always tolerating my crazy ideas in class...never letting me die of boredom in class by doing crazy stuff with me...
I miss those days...
You were also always there to help me like when I had to moveT____________T
I miss those days when we were closer.....sadly we've drifted apart upon coming to the states....however....i know we'll always be friends because you're one friend I would want to ever lose
Remember how were we musketeers in class=)
SS
Dearest Sharon....=)
The sweetest girl who never had a bad bone in her.....
You were like a sister to me here..pshaw....who cares if were's of different race la....haha..like we've always said.....we're the unique twins...haha...
An elder sister you were..always worring about this silly girl......looking after me....
Thank to you, I never had to feel lonely=)
You were always making sure I had my meals...haha...bringing me little snacks and fulfilling my briyani cravings which was almost weekly...making me my favorite fish patties when i craved for them....
Visiting me almost every saturday while i was at work..popping in to see how i was doing=)
Even after you left, you never fail to watch over me...haha...calling me up weekly for my hourly chats...
I am ultimately grateful for all your advice,tolerance on my nonsense which was many....hehe....
Remember the time we walked home from target and it took us 2 hours and yet you were happy to do it with my spur of moment craziness...
OUr bus days are gone...if you were still in this county, I would have gladly drove you anywhere you needed...
But texas is only but a few hundred miles away=) and i promise to visit you soon....till then it'll be our weekly calls...
So these are among the five girls that I could never live without and would not dare imagine what it'll be like had I not known them=(....
Ya all girls cause I am scared of guys cause I dunno why...hahah just kidding...
So everytime I would think I have no one to talk to, all I have to do is look back on memories I've had with them...and rmeember...that they will always be there for me....
Even when I look like an obese teapot..all short and stout
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Happy Happy
Blubbie......
I finally talked to JR again after one year since she left US.....So happy can......i thought she was mad at me and wasn't going to talk to me for lifeT__________T...apparently she thought i was the one mad at her hohohoho.......
so errr it's high time i divorce you again and marry her....ahahaha=x cough cough...just kidding...
I wish she was still here though but i guess maybe her decision to start all over again back home could work out better for her...but i miss having her aroundT___________T....I am dying of boredom living a hermit life....cough yes la i super lazy to go out one cough cough
So we talked and catched up on everything we missed out on in life and what nots one year back...
I'm hoping I'll see her soon....maybe in a couple of years....at least she hugs me okay not like you everytime i demand for a hug....have to end up pleading after getting kicked non stop....
Ya...won't be updating the food blog for sometime okay cause all i've been eating is err......instant food(don't tell my mother......she always remind me to eat every few hours because she's scared i might get gastric)
Yala...somemore my mumsie will come chat with me at random hours to see if i got sleep or notT_______________________T....i so wanted to talk to her but have to pretend i'm not online so that she won't scold me for burning the midnight oil every night....haiz what to do.....i'm the tong sampah of the group..everything thrown in my way also i won't say no cause my grades will be in jeopardy...
Yay and weekend is coming and I am going to watch Avenue Q tomorrow with my friend....so excited i've been wanting to watch it long ago but never had the chance.
Anyway gotta go my contact is being irritable and it's almost five and I haven't had lunch..=(
I finally talked to JR again after one year since she left US.....So happy can......i thought she was mad at me and wasn't going to talk to me for lifeT__________T...apparently she thought i was the one mad at her hohohoho.......
so errr it's high time i divorce you again and marry her....ahahaha=x cough cough...just kidding...
I wish she was still here though but i guess maybe her decision to start all over again back home could work out better for her...but i miss having her aroundT___________T....I am dying of boredom living a hermit life....cough yes la i super lazy to go out one cough cough
So we talked and catched up on everything we missed out on in life and what nots one year back...
I'm hoping I'll see her soon....maybe in a couple of years....at least she hugs me okay not like you everytime i demand for a hug....have to end up pleading after getting kicked non stop....
Ya...won't be updating the food blog for sometime okay cause all i've been eating is err......instant food(don't tell my mother......she always remind me to eat every few hours because she's scared i might get gastric)
Yala...somemore my mumsie will come chat with me at random hours to see if i got sleep or notT_______________________T....i so wanted to talk to her but have to pretend i'm not online so that she won't scold me for burning the midnight oil every night....haiz what to do.....i'm the tong sampah of the group..everything thrown in my way also i won't say no cause my grades will be in jeopardy...
Yay and weekend is coming and I am going to watch Avenue Q tomorrow with my friend....so excited i've been wanting to watch it long ago but never had the chance.
Anyway gotta go my contact is being irritable and it's almost five and I haven't had lunch..=(
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Chicago
Too many sad post....so resolution....for each sad post must make a happy post...
Chicago was fun......it definitely gave me the break i needed...making friends along the way...walked dunno how many miles enough to allow me to be a glutton haha...
Went to chinatown with a german couple Anna and don't remember her boyfriend's name..he's french sorry...showed them around chinatown and eventually qent to Penang for malaysian food...hoho....was fun...the hostel room i stayed in was 4 german girls,all in the states to be au pairs....and angelica from California whom i eventually hung out with=)
Not many pictures la.....sad part is everything closes by 8leh!!!I forgot as I first thought eh maybe cause it's earth hour...but not la.....haiz....i walked from wabash ave to michigan ave and only thing opened were fast foodT_Tsianz.....so i walked back to this thai restaurant and the lady who served me went "you again" cause i was there for lunch...hhaha....what to do la....
And of course i never fail to lose my sense of directionT___________T.....i was looking for the tram to navy pier, yet instead I got lost and somehow managed to walk all the way there in 1.5 hoursT____________________T
Turn back time.....
Remember how we were talking on msn about it.....
Somehow i wish this was possible,to undo all the misery i've cause, to undo all wrongs....to make things better somehow=(
There's so much i wish i could undo...but i guess there never will be the chance seeing that i've taken things for granted...
Looking back, there's so much i could have done to be a better person...but it's too late to even think about it anymore...
Maybe it's been months of babbling cause i really fear bout the last few months of studies.....i really can't fail to pass everythingT_T.....what am I going to do.....how many years of school has it been seeing that i decided to changes things....
I've let down too many people in the past....
I've also realized that I'm exactly the kind of person who keeps to herself if i ever need help or get into trouble...
People think it's silly and stupid but they fail to understand that my logic is that if I get myself into trouble, it's bad enough to put myself into misery so much so that i should not drag anyone down with me. I look at it in such that I know i've disappointed myself so much...i couldn't bear to look anyone in the eyes and see the pain and disappointment they are bound to show.
It's true that no man's an island....but I have faith in myself each time I have to get out of unwanted situations....eventually I will even though it may not be the most ideal method, I know I want to correct things bad enough that I'll research through matters to find methods to resolve things...
So I guess funnily enough, without much realization, I'm a lot more independent that I give myself credit for...
Somehow i wish this was possible,to undo all the misery i've cause, to undo all wrongs....to make things better somehow=(
There's so much i wish i could undo...but i guess there never will be the chance seeing that i've taken things for granted...
Looking back, there's so much i could have done to be a better person...but it's too late to even think about it anymore...
Maybe it's been months of babbling cause i really fear bout the last few months of studies.....i really can't fail to pass everythingT_T.....what am I going to do.....how many years of school has it been seeing that i decided to changes things....
I've let down too many people in the past....
I've also realized that I'm exactly the kind of person who keeps to herself if i ever need help or get into trouble...
People think it's silly and stupid but they fail to understand that my logic is that if I get myself into trouble, it's bad enough to put myself into misery so much so that i should not drag anyone down with me. I look at it in such that I know i've disappointed myself so much...i couldn't bear to look anyone in the eyes and see the pain and disappointment they are bound to show.
It's true that no man's an island....but I have faith in myself each time I have to get out of unwanted situations....eventually I will even though it may not be the most ideal method, I know I want to correct things bad enough that I'll research through matters to find methods to resolve things...
So I guess funnily enough, without much realization, I'm a lot more independent that I give myself credit for...
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Oink Oink
I can hear my neighbour snoring away=x....and the apartment is double walled...so could it be:
1.she's super tired every night
2.i have superb hearing......wah and maybe i'm like a superhero or something.....what should i call myself.....faster faster...think think....err let's see wall crawling=spiderman,night person=batman,many powers=superman...so i should be.......errrr.....i should be bat girl okay stupid batman....i mean bat cannot see right they rely on hearing!!!!he should have been owl man but i think that was taken by keluang man...don't ask me i didn't follow that series...never mind i shall be horton hears a who girl....why so out of topic one....sianz
3.haiyah maybe my sofa next to the wall so all the better to hear her snore=_______=
Ehh.....snoring got rhythm one ah=x
1.she's super tired every night
2.i have superb hearing......wah and maybe i'm like a superhero or something.....what should i call myself.....faster faster...think think....err let's see wall crawling=spiderman,night person=batman,many powers=superman...so i should be.......errrr.....i should be bat girl okay stupid batman....i mean bat cannot see right they rely on hearing!!!!he should have been owl man but i think that was taken by keluang man...don't ask me i didn't follow that series...never mind i shall be horton hears a who girl....why so out of topic one....sianz
3.haiyah maybe my sofa next to the wall so all the better to hear her snore=_______=
Ehh.....snoring got rhythm one ah=x
Friday, March 21, 2008
The ho ho cincailah give in to eastside girl post
See la see la...mean girl.....T_T she proclaims she won't befriend me anymore because i tipu her by posting an illustration of me instead so here la here la..close enough to be counted as picture as it's my hair when it was shorter...now 3 months later super long liao need haircut....
and this is your favorite bear of all time..my basil who wouldn't mind a hug....hohoho=x
don't pretend i know you miss him so....
Thursday, March 20, 2008
stupid country bumpkin fashion post
Blubbs... I thought we started this blog because we wanted to show each other what we're wearing everyday.. In the end we didn't post.. hahaaa... so let me be the first >_< My pariah pasar malam fashion sense (according to someone *cough* you know who)
This is what I wore to school yesterday
This is what I wore today.. my fav pair of Jeans.. haha.. not from Giant la
Why am I so thin T____T
This is what I wore to school yesterday
This is what I wore today.. my fav pair of Jeans.. haha.. not from Giant la
Why am I so thin T____T
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