So finally this blog is serving it's true purpose...the true intention we had for it which was to keep in touch with one another daily when we're unable to keep in touch with what not of our rubbish nonsense through msn....
I am currently in the cafe now holding my bladder la okay!!!!you noe if i give up this seat i won't be able to come back to one with an available plug okay!!!!<=kiasu la....
Weather has taken to a change..it's much colder now....and the leaves are turning colour....while the flowers mom planted while she was here is slowly beginning to dry up....no more cheerful cluster of colours greeting me each time i open my doors to leave home...
spend the weekend cooking for friends...then helping another move the rest of my saturday....was superbly exhausted....I cooked enough to feed an army in africa okay....but pictures had to be taken with my phone as this klutz left her camera at home....
Why did i cook so much?i have no clue...so i made for them:
nasi lemak with chicken curry and sambal belacan long beans, kiam chai thng, milo swirl cupcake with peanut butter and chocolate chip cookie crumble frosting, ginger and honey cupcake, victorian sponge sandwich cake with cherry filling, apricot jam cookie sandwich, and apricot glaze cupcakes top with one measly almond cause i can't leave my cupcakes naked can I?
it's been a week since i last talk to you...and I am hereby admitting my withdrawal symptoms of msn huggles...because I had shamelessly for no apparent reason just screamed out hug jean subconsciously in public out loudT_T....
I've also learnt that I am the exact counterpart needed to encounter kids according to my friends and their familiesT_T because I apparently am able to work well with retorting their cheekiness...and fit right in with them lahT_T
I am also too short in comparison to a 9 year old kid as when we but hit i ended up getting the rough side of it and almost toppled overT_T...i am just as tall as the nine year old girl...
It's getting cold in the cafe so much so that I am all ready to just grab anyone and hug themT_T<=seriously.no.i'm not that insane...but it is without a doubt cold.
My life is nowhere now....i still have no clue if i am moving out of state or not but for sure..i'll be homeless in 2 days time...=( and I've yet to pack....talk about procrastination eh..le sigh..tonight is going to be a long night....
So blubbie...how was your day?
Monday, August 11, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Gratitude
Time waits for no man...Once it flies past, there no point of return..no fast forwarding...no rewinding...
Certain mistakes and decisions made now or in the past stays for life...nothing will ever change them.Ever.
Words said, actions taken can never be taken back.
For each ticking second that passes by, is every second of life lived.
So no point of regretting actions which has been done for...
Eh blubbie...I have too much free time in my hands these past few days therefore I've been working on details such as financial planning on our future dreams....Before you accuse me of being long winded I do have to tell you how grateful I am to have you around=)...No one could find a greater best friend in the whole wide world okay(on a side note since I am gracefully cough cough praising you, could you please take me in as a third wheel if i were never to marry cough cough and adopt me hoho). Thanks for always considering all my wacko whims on our dreams....most of of thanks for always being around in spirit and words la(msn cough) daily....you have no idea how excited i get just by having you around to chat with daily(eh why does this sound a tad bit like an obsession).
Seriously, who could find a bestie blubbie who would fulfill my dreams with me, so much so as to compromise our future situations years from now...make plans with me for decades to come...always willing to give a lending hand when I need it...console me..hoho....scold me when I really need none(haiz things i do for you too seeee lah)
If all works out as plan, we'll be able to work out everything in a matter of 4 years....and hope that things would fall into place one by one=)
I somehow stumbled upon some old primary friends blogs...to see them so happy together still in the same group after this many years brings back a little envy in me...i too wish i had that kind of friendship...but who am I to complain when I have two greatest girls which ironically are on two opposite end of the country..one north one south...like a magnet....haiz...
Words could not described my gratitude towards the two of you....and how much I miss having you guys around....
I memang super emo this days and I can't explain why...err blame it on the ever changing weather...
So lots of hugggggggggggggggggs....
Eh eh extra side note to the best friend/sister/auntyla in the north eh don't worry if you planning on getting married anytime soon right...i will get the next flight back okay dont worry......*all expenses sponsored for by the bestie in the south....cough cough
Certain mistakes and decisions made now or in the past stays for life...nothing will ever change them.Ever.
Words said, actions taken can never be taken back.
For each ticking second that passes by, is every second of life lived.
So no point of regretting actions which has been done for...
Eh blubbie...I have too much free time in my hands these past few days therefore I've been working on details such as financial planning on our future dreams....Before you accuse me of being long winded I do have to tell you how grateful I am to have you around=)...No one could find a greater best friend in the whole wide world okay(on a side note since I am gracefully cough cough praising you, could you please take me in as a third wheel if i were never to marry cough cough and adopt me hoho). Thanks for always considering all my wacko whims on our dreams....most of of thanks for always being around in spirit and words la(msn cough) daily....you have no idea how excited i get just by having you around to chat with daily(eh why does this sound a tad bit like an obsession).
Seriously, who could find a bestie blubbie who would fulfill my dreams with me, so much so as to compromise our future situations years from now...make plans with me for decades to come...always willing to give a lending hand when I need it...console me..hoho....scold me when I really need none(haiz things i do for you too seeee lah)
If all works out as plan, we'll be able to work out everything in a matter of 4 years....and hope that things would fall into place one by one=)
I somehow stumbled upon some old primary friends blogs...to see them so happy together still in the same group after this many years brings back a little envy in me...i too wish i had that kind of friendship...but who am I to complain when I have two greatest girls which ironically are on two opposite end of the country..one north one south...like a magnet....haiz...
Words could not described my gratitude towards the two of you....and how much I miss having you guys around....
I memang super emo this days and I can't explain why...err blame it on the ever changing weather...
So lots of hugggggggggggggggggs....
Eh eh extra side note to the best friend/sister/auntyla in the north eh don't worry if you planning on getting married anytime soon right...i will get the next flight back okay dont worry......*all expenses sponsored for by the bestie in the south....cough cough
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Time to grow up
Lol, since you talked about growing up and facing the big bad world.. I shall talk about growing up too (Actually you copy me lah, I wanted to write about growing up one.. but who knows when I log in your post was already there, bang!).
Today I had a long, long talk with my dear friend (he was unexceptionally talkative today). We talked about how ourselves and people around us have changed over these few years, or rather grown up. He used to go after girls based on looks, but now even when he see pretty girls he don't feel like going after them already. He said he has matured and now, he's not shy in asking girls out anymore, nor does he mind being single. We observed that our friend, who used to be horny and desperate, is much more settled down now. And me, I used to be attracted to bad boys who are wild, fun-loving or who do not care a shit about the world, but now I realise I will be contented with an average, normal guy who just cares and will give me support and security. It's funny to see people who you have known forever evolve and change. It's like you're hanging out with a different bunch of people now, and you feel the pride like how you watch your son graduate or something like that. Gone were the wild days where we used to walk home together everyday talking about everything under the sun, the days where we used to spend our recess scaring our classmates through the window, the days where we were constantly rebelling our teachers... Yes, indeed, youth is wild, youth is madness, youth is not having to care about how the world will turn out tomorrow, though I couldn't see it at that time. As we grow up, we are handed doses after doses of reality, of competition, of survival, while we lock our true selves, all our innocence and dreams, into this big chest called 'memories of youth', to be put away, never to be opened again. We wake up everyday preparing for yet another battle to face the world and strive to emerge unscathed. Yes, it's tiring to face the world, it's depressing to see your youth and innocence shipped out of your sight. But, though lonely at times, I realize throughout this years, there are friends who are always beside me, silently, supporting me without question. Friends who doesn't care who and what will I become tomorrow, whom I can be completely comfortable with without the need for pretense. These are people who keep me going, giving me hope that life, is indeed beautiful. Especially dear friend whom I talked to today, thanks for always being there (though you probably will never admit it haha!) I really do appreciate it and you're always be an important friend in my life =)
Oops, I strayed from my intended topic. Anyway, seeing my friends' transformation, I guess it's time for me to grow up too. Maybe it's time for me to discard my silly pride, opinions and prejudices... and to pursue the things that really matter to me in life. These few months have really been a crash course for me, to learn about reality, love and life..
Today I had a long, long talk with my dear friend (he was unexceptionally talkative today). We talked about how ourselves and people around us have changed over these few years, or rather grown up. He used to go after girls based on looks, but now even when he see pretty girls he don't feel like going after them already. He said he has matured and now, he's not shy in asking girls out anymore, nor does he mind being single. We observed that our friend, who used to be horny and desperate, is much more settled down now. And me, I used to be attracted to bad boys who are wild, fun-loving or who do not care a shit about the world, but now I realise I will be contented with an average, normal guy who just cares and will give me support and security. It's funny to see people who you have known forever evolve and change. It's like you're hanging out with a different bunch of people now, and you feel the pride like how you watch your son graduate or something like that. Gone were the wild days where we used to walk home together everyday talking about everything under the sun, the days where we used to spend our recess scaring our classmates through the window, the days where we were constantly rebelling our teachers... Yes, indeed, youth is wild, youth is madness, youth is not having to care about how the world will turn out tomorrow, though I couldn't see it at that time. As we grow up, we are handed doses after doses of reality, of competition, of survival, while we lock our true selves, all our innocence and dreams, into this big chest called 'memories of youth', to be put away, never to be opened again. We wake up everyday preparing for yet another battle to face the world and strive to emerge unscathed. Yes, it's tiring to face the world, it's depressing to see your youth and innocence shipped out of your sight. But, though lonely at times, I realize throughout this years, there are friends who are always beside me, silently, supporting me without question. Friends who doesn't care who and what will I become tomorrow, whom I can be completely comfortable with without the need for pretense. These are people who keep me going, giving me hope that life, is indeed beautiful. Especially dear friend whom I talked to today, thanks for always being there (though you probably will never admit it haha!) I really do appreciate it and you're always be an important friend in my life =)
Oops, I strayed from my intended topic. Anyway, seeing my friends' transformation, I guess it's time for me to grow up too. Maybe it's time for me to discard my silly pride, opinions and prejudices... and to pursue the things that really matter to me in life. These few months have really been a crash course for me, to learn about reality, love and life..
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Are we there yet?
So this is it....here lies our future...
Gone were the days when we would be happily running around making silly faces...hopping around*though i am still very much a kid at 22 cough cough*
What would the outcome be?Would our dreams come through, or would they be but a mere spec high above...unreachable...a gaze to the distance?
Now that it's a new beginning of lives without financial support from family....the true meaning of standing on one's own two feet...
Financial woes....of budgeting, planning for the future...
down payments soon to come....families to support along the way sometime in the future...
An unexplainable emotion....a mixture of excitement tied down by a looming fear....
Honestly blubbie, I have mix feelings....I hate to admit it but I was quite happy when you could accept my decision on postponing our plans for our ventures and in being housmies again to a mere 4 years compared to the 2 years planned ahead..
Reason being is I am not sure what I truly want to do yet...as in living here to earn more first so that we could have enough to work our plans around with...
Or give in to homesickness...and return in less than 3 years....
So is growing up all about making decisions?
Four years...and I'll be back=)...back to my roots...
Gone were the days when we would be happily running around making silly faces...hopping around*though i am still very much a kid at 22 cough cough*
What would the outcome be?Would our dreams come through, or would they be but a mere spec high above...unreachable...a gaze to the distance?
Now that it's a new beginning of lives without financial support from family....the true meaning of standing on one's own two feet...
Financial woes....of budgeting, planning for the future...
down payments soon to come....families to support along the way sometime in the future...
An unexplainable emotion....a mixture of excitement tied down by a looming fear....
Honestly blubbie, I have mix feelings....I hate to admit it but I was quite happy when you could accept my decision on postponing our plans for our ventures and in being housmies again to a mere 4 years compared to the 2 years planned ahead..
Reason being is I am not sure what I truly want to do yet...as in living here to earn more first so that we could have enough to work our plans around with...
Or give in to homesickness...and return in less than 3 years....
So is growing up all about making decisions?
Four years...and I'll be back=)...back to my roots...
Monday, August 4, 2008
What is love 2?
Quite possibly, I'm the last person to ever talk about true love...
I don't think I've ever fallen in love...only fallen in like...
Let's call it like at first sight then...haha..so yeah...about my super ex crush<=let's not use the color nickname we've been using on him for the past 4 years okay seeing that many others too know that nick i think....
You're right when you say we tend to be blinded upon by our feelings to our conception of our the ideal prince charming of our dreams...
Never in a million years would I have thought I could fall for a guy who differs much from what I dreamed of...but i guess that's what like at first sight truly is...
Would I ever fall in love? who knows...maybe...maybe not...it's not something I could decide upon single handedly. It takes two to fall in not possible"...she said "i'm not trying to ruin your idea of love, it would be great if you could achieve it, but in this life, it's nearly impossible to find such love, as if you won't understand what you truly want in a spouse, or find the right one if you don't date a few others...and might just regret it in your later life".
Friends often ask, "still no boyfriend" as though it's an essential good I should have at this age. When the reply is "no"..the often go "tsk, you're too picky....too choosy"....oh how wrong they were...for it's not so much a matter of how picky I truly am, for I may kid around my essentially list of criteria a guy should have but it's all but a joke...I don't really have a list...for I know the reality, if we were to be nitpicking other's credentials, they too would have done the same...expectations are fine so long as they are reasonable...and practical...
So for now, I'm happy the way relationship goes...which is being single...for I'll wait till the day when I meet someone who could accept and love me for what I am and could be...I won't lie...there will be times when i wish I too had that special someone who would be there for me when I walk past a couple holding hands while strolling down the park...or smiling upon each other as though the world had nothing but their love...but it's those moments, that makes me realize...I won't settle for the sake of blending in with society,or the perceptions of others that being 22 means having a boyfriend....
So to my dear dear blubbie, kl convert might or might not be the one...give it some time..but don't give up hope okay.....I'm on your side=)....always...
I don't think I've ever fallen in love...only fallen in like...
Let's call it like at first sight then...haha..so yeah...about my super ex crush<=let's not use the color nickname we've been using on him for the past 4 years okay seeing that many others too know that nick i think....
You're right when you say we tend to be blinded upon by our feelings to our conception of our the ideal prince charming of our dreams...
Never in a million years would I have thought I could fall for a guy who differs much from what I dreamed of...but i guess that's what like at first sight truly is...
Would I ever fall in love? who knows...maybe...maybe not...it's not something I could decide upon single handedly. It takes two to fall in not possible"...she said "i'm not trying to ruin your idea of love, it would be great if you could achieve it, but in this life, it's nearly impossible to find such love, as if you won't understand what you truly want in a spouse, or find the right one if you don't date a few others...and might just regret it in your later life".
Friends often ask, "still no boyfriend" as though it's an essential good I should have at this age. When the reply is "no"..the often go "tsk, you're too picky....too choosy"....oh how wrong they were...for it's not so much a matter of how picky I truly am, for I may kid around my essentially list of criteria a guy should have but it's all but a joke...I don't really have a list...for I know the reality, if we were to be nitpicking other's credentials, they too would have done the same...expectations are fine so long as they are reasonable...and practical...
So for now, I'm happy the way relationship goes...which is being single...for I'll wait till the day when I meet someone who could accept and love me for what I am and could be...I won't lie...there will be times when i wish I too had that special someone who would be there for me when I walk past a couple holding hands while strolling down the park...or smiling upon each other as though the world had nothing but their love...but it's those moments, that makes me realize...I won't settle for the sake of blending in with society,or the perceptions of others that being 22 means having a boyfriend....
So to my dear dear blubbie, kl convert might or might not be the one...give it some time..but don't give up hope okay.....I'm on your side=)....always...
Sunday, August 3, 2008
What is love?
Haiya.. since you ask me to post something.. cincai la.. post random thoughts. BEWARE: Rubbish, crap T_T
Recently, I had alot of realizations about love. Don't mind me la, nothing better to do (or think about). First, I realised love is really blind, most of the time. You don't know when or why or how you fell into it. It's just this ridiculous growth within your heart suddenly, sweet at times, but irritating most of the time. What's more, in front of love, all your previous criteria about your prince charming, all your previous notions and illusion about true love and happy marriages just seem so vague and meaningless. For the person right before you, is nothing like what you've imagined your prince charming to be. Someone you'll never expect to be with, in your wildest thought, when you first knew him. But yet something about him attracts you so deeply, that you'll miss him when you're not there.. As absurd as it may seem, it's the first time I realised how truly missing someone feels, and I've never felt that way for yeffsamy.
What brings me together with yeffsamy? It's probably not true love, I know. For when he tells me he likes me, I never did think of being together with him, even though I told him I liked him as well. I never did feel the sense of joy and happines, I just felt nothing. I knew the answer right from the start. It was a mixture of silly impulse and haunting memories. For the day we went to watch a performance together was so like the day four years ago, when me and first crush went to watch a concert together. I keep telling myself, on that day, to never let an opportunity pass again. It was selfish of me. And the relationship was plain disastrous, an illusion..
for months after the relationship, I was busy enjoying my freedom, not thinking of getting into a relationship at all.
And now, I feel and think differently. Maybe I've fully put the past behind me now. I no longer shun the thought of having a relationship, even if there's no future. I even think marriage is not such a horrifying thing, after all. I no longer compare kl convert with first crush, as I can't think of any ways that they are similar or any situation with him that reminds me of first crush.
Oh well, I know this will be a major disappointment and nothing will come out of it. Still, at least, I get a chance to realise what loving someone really feels like. Love is, loving someone for who they are, not for who they seem to be. Love is, unconditional. (I know these lines are cliche and you see them everywhere, but to read and to experience is a totally different thing)
Recently, I had alot of realizations about love. Don't mind me la, nothing better to do (or think about). First, I realised love is really blind, most of the time. You don't know when or why or how you fell into it. It's just this ridiculous growth within your heart suddenly, sweet at times, but irritating most of the time. What's more, in front of love, all your previous criteria about your prince charming, all your previous notions and illusion about true love and happy marriages just seem so vague and meaningless. For the person right before you, is nothing like what you've imagined your prince charming to be. Someone you'll never expect to be with, in your wildest thought, when you first knew him. But yet something about him attracts you so deeply, that you'll miss him when you're not there.. As absurd as it may seem, it's the first time I realised how truly missing someone feels, and I've never felt that way for yeffsamy.
What brings me together with yeffsamy? It's probably not true love, I know. For when he tells me he likes me, I never did think of being together with him, even though I told him I liked him as well. I never did feel the sense of joy and happines, I just felt nothing. I knew the answer right from the start. It was a mixture of silly impulse and haunting memories. For the day we went to watch a performance together was so like the day four years ago, when me and first crush went to watch a concert together. I keep telling myself, on that day, to never let an opportunity pass again. It was selfish of me. And the relationship was plain disastrous, an illusion..
for months after the relationship, I was busy enjoying my freedom, not thinking of getting into a relationship at all.
And now, I feel and think differently. Maybe I've fully put the past behind me now. I no longer shun the thought of having a relationship, even if there's no future. I even think marriage is not such a horrifying thing, after all. I no longer compare kl convert with first crush, as I can't think of any ways that they are similar or any situation with him that reminds me of first crush.
Oh well, I know this will be a major disappointment and nothing will come out of it. Still, at least, I get a chance to realise what loving someone really feels like. Love is, loving someone for who they are, not for who they seem to be. Love is, unconditional. (I know these lines are cliche and you see them everywhere, but to read and to experience is a totally different thing)
Friday, August 1, 2008
Hermit Hey ho Hey ho....
So true to the title, I have been and am being much of a hermit lately...ever since I've moved to the States really...
I think it all started when happiness ceased to exist in my first time living with others under one roof while away....What's with people I do not get along with, troubles and fire in the soul made me auto shut my self. What's with rumors of what nots spreading around about me which I do not know of but people who once knew me finding about makes me how I am...
Friends I made here have told me that ever since that semester, it seems as though I have always build a wall along the way..always reserved...A wall which I had put on for fear of being rumored upon...
Funnily enough, even though I had always pretended as though it never affected me, it made me even more of a hermit as I was beginning to think that if I kept to myself even more, people are less likely to find fault in me or have things to say...but that didn't help either as then some people think i am a stuck up snot who thinks of herself as to be better than others, by not mixing with her own countrymen.
That was the end of it really....I cried when talking to my dad on the phone...up till that day I never realize how much I had bottled in me...see the lousy thing about me is that i wear my emotions on my sleeves...try as hard as i may to bite my tongue...i would always end up crying when confronted...but my dad never falters.........he told me it doesn't matter....let them spread all those rumors as they like even if it isn't true and that I should always keep my chin up and know that family will always be there for me..and if people chose to believe those rumors, then they are and will never be my my true friends.....
I've learnt that it takes two sides and that i could have been very much at fault for any fallouts that happened on the first semester.
True, I may not have always been the most friendly person in the whole wide world...but that's only the exterior as I have always have a fear that at first glance, people might not like me or might find me a tad annoying, therefore the first impression of being cold and unfriendly, which is not helped much by my fearfully unsmiling face.
Smiling has not been my thing...so that explains my feature of looking fierce. On top of that, I am not one with high confidence, especially when it comes to looks....a face covered in acne has always made me cast my eyes down upon the floor..I think it is mostly the reason as to why i never had bangs as I could always hide my face behind my hair......
I've lost many a friends I made in college....for lack of communication and keeping in touch made me even more reserved. Partly the reason for it has been me feeling insecure if they don't remember me or could barely find topics to talk about...
Ironically, I do tend to make friends easily, but keeping in touch with them has been the hard part...so I've always been grateful for a handful of friends who mean the world to me...even as we are all scattered miles apart from one another...
Sometimes I feel as though all this while I've been putting up a front....just to hide away from how i truly feel about things...
Gone were the fire breathing me back in high school....even though I tend to be all bubbly and talk about the most rubbish stuff the world could ever think of, I've lost the fire within....for some of it was a mere facade to hide what I truly feel...
Nevertheless, even so, I've been happy...though some days felt lonesome....I've sense that I've grown up much...
And grateful for everything I have...
Especially now, when I have put the past behind...things may not always go as planned, true that not everyone will have a good impression of me...but what counts is that I've tried and will not let them get to me as easily anymore...
As for those who do count, I've also learned that friends of such should always be kept connected...no matter how much an effort it takes..=)
So here's to a new beginning..an end of a curse i cast upon myself...
I think it all started when happiness ceased to exist in my first time living with others under one roof while away....What's with people I do not get along with, troubles and fire in the soul made me auto shut my self. What's with rumors of what nots spreading around about me which I do not know of but people who once knew me finding about makes me how I am...
Friends I made here have told me that ever since that semester, it seems as though I have always build a wall along the way..always reserved...A wall which I had put on for fear of being rumored upon...
Funnily enough, even though I had always pretended as though it never affected me, it made me even more of a hermit as I was beginning to think that if I kept to myself even more, people are less likely to find fault in me or have things to say...but that didn't help either as then some people think i am a stuck up snot who thinks of herself as to be better than others, by not mixing with her own countrymen.
That was the end of it really....I cried when talking to my dad on the phone...up till that day I never realize how much I had bottled in me...see the lousy thing about me is that i wear my emotions on my sleeves...try as hard as i may to bite my tongue...i would always end up crying when confronted...but my dad never falters.........he told me it doesn't matter....let them spread all those rumors as they like even if it isn't true and that I should always keep my chin up and know that family will always be there for me..and if people chose to believe those rumors, then they are and will never be my my true friends.....
I've learnt that it takes two sides and that i could have been very much at fault for any fallouts that happened on the first semester.
True, I may not have always been the most friendly person in the whole wide world...but that's only the exterior as I have always have a fear that at first glance, people might not like me or might find me a tad annoying, therefore the first impression of being cold and unfriendly, which is not helped much by my fearfully unsmiling face.
Smiling has not been my thing...so that explains my feature of looking fierce. On top of that, I am not one with high confidence, especially when it comes to looks....a face covered in acne has always made me cast my eyes down upon the floor..I think it is mostly the reason as to why i never had bangs as I could always hide my face behind my hair......
I've lost many a friends I made in college....for lack of communication and keeping in touch made me even more reserved. Partly the reason for it has been me feeling insecure if they don't remember me or could barely find topics to talk about...
Ironically, I do tend to make friends easily, but keeping in touch with them has been the hard part...so I've always been grateful for a handful of friends who mean the world to me...even as we are all scattered miles apart from one another...
Sometimes I feel as though all this while I've been putting up a front....just to hide away from how i truly feel about things...
Gone were the fire breathing me back in high school....even though I tend to be all bubbly and talk about the most rubbish stuff the world could ever think of, I've lost the fire within....for some of it was a mere facade to hide what I truly feel...
Nevertheless, even so, I've been happy...though some days felt lonesome....I've sense that I've grown up much...
And grateful for everything I have...
Especially now, when I have put the past behind...things may not always go as planned, true that not everyone will have a good impression of me...but what counts is that I've tried and will not let them get to me as easily anymore...
As for those who do count, I've also learned that friends of such should always be kept connected...no matter how much an effort it takes..=)
So here's to a new beginning..an end of a curse i cast upon myself...
Saturday, July 12, 2008
belated birthday cum graduation cake
haha.. actually it's not my party.. my mum asked her colleagues over for dinner.. so shun bian buy cake for me onli T__T
graduation
hoho graduation pics.. the rest i accidentally deleted (the resized ones).. go my facebook and see la.. got my graduation dinner pics oso =P
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Reply
boo.. some people the opposite of cinderella.. come online after midnight.. people now working ler.. haf to wake up so early of cuz muz get beauty sleep T__T and ur cacat internet laa... talk to u sometimes so long then reply.. doze off la... you lah, come online at afternoon mah huahua =D eekss.. dun hug me KICK... on a side note, today I wore BOTH of my contact lenses to work wahaha finally~~~ eh cannot muz have pressie.. where's the prada bag i wanted.. whiness... screams... screeches... scratches nail on blackboard... haiya.. message too long.. this was intended to be a comment.. in the end transfer to new blog post... can type more crap.. you find me a kids producing partner la.. so that you have kids to play with hahahaha... oh dear, I'm so old now.. 22 =(
eh I just noticed.. wat favourite Jean of all Jeans I know.. you only know 1 Jean right T______________T so sad
eh I just noticed.. wat favourite Jean of all Jeans I know.. you only know 1 Jean right T______________T so sad
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
OOOHHHHHH ZOO BABY ZOO BABY IT'S YOUR DAY~~~~~~~
TO My favorite Jean of all Jean in I know
HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!!!
may you have a good one especially since I've seen you less and less online especially after some people always proclaim that she needs her beauty sleep cough pig cough....not like my cacat internet cannot connect has anything to do with it lah...cough cough
So happy birthday i am so broke i got not pressies for you la..cough cough....
errr big girl liao...must err find good job, settle down and give me angbao and kids to play with cough i don't do babysitting cough i give your kids back when they whine cough cough....
so lots of hugs and i will intend on emotionally and spiritually hug you for the rest fo the 48 hours....eh why you ask cause time difference ma cough can hug longer hoho cough
HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!!!
may you have a good one especially since I've seen you less and less online especially after some people always proclaim that she needs her beauty sleep cough pig cough....not like my cacat internet cannot connect has anything to do with it lah...cough cough
So happy birthday i am so broke i got not pressies for you la..cough cough....
errr big girl liao...must err find good job, settle down and give me angbao and kids to play with cough i don't do babysitting cough i give your kids back when they whine cough cough....
so lots of hugs and i will intend on emotionally and spiritually hug you for the rest fo the 48 hours....eh why you ask cause time difference ma cough can hug longer hoho cough
Monday, July 7, 2008
My contact lens saga
Blubbs... so... I bought my first packet of monthly contact lens this weekend.... and asked the shop assistant to teach me how to wear. But you know me la, I'm such a scaredy cat.. Don't even dare to open my eye wide, touching my eyeball is almost impossible.. Tried and tried, but cannot, until my brother start to complain that we need to go home and eat dinner =__=
Hoho.. so go back home and practice lor... After so so so so so many hours, somehow I managed to get the right contact lens in my eye.. I forgot how I did it.. divine intervention maybe.. Nevertheless it felt really great to have nice vision! Even though abit weird, like there's some rubber band in my eye.. But sigh.. no matter how I try I can't get the left one in Then while I'm talking to my mum and my aunt (her family and my grandparents came down from KL for a visit ^^).. the right contact lens just fell out from my eyelid!!!!!! =_____________________= Fine fine... FINE..
Next day, practice time again... But no success.. not even one eye, so sad.. My left shoulder is aching badly.. I think because of me lifting up my arm to pry my eyes open.. sobzzz.. T__________T But at least now I dare to touch my eyeball, but but then the lens won't stick to my eye.. it won't leave my finger... maybe I blink too much or maybe my eyes didn't open big enough...sigh... in the end I try try touch here touch there (all the wrong places!) and got my eyes red =( At night I tried again, got the right one in but it felt so uncomfortable! I think I wore the wrong side of the lens.. so had to remove.. first time remove contact lens, it was much easier though.. I just put my finger on my eye and keep moving (more like rubbing) it off the corner of my eye.. hoho.. very special method right.. why I so pathetic T___T
Today hoho... I woke up super early to try my contact lens before I go to work (Well.. err I reset my alarm clock 2 times.. each time half an hour later cuz I cannot bear to leave my cosy bed) But but still, I woke about half an hour early.. Shoulder still aching T__T Now at least I dare to look in the mirror when I'm touching my eyes instead of looking elsewhere.. got improvement right?? After don't know how many tries.. I managed to get the left one in this time.. yahoo... But then............. I can't get the right one in!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep on trying for about 20 minutes, sometimes it got in but senget.. too downwards.. so when I blink it fell off instantly... I tried until I think I'm gonna be really late if I don't move.. I didn't want to waste the time and effort I spent putting on the left contact lens.. so I left my place wearing only one contact lens. I know, very stupid idea =____= at first still can tahan, but after a few hours I felt so giddy because my eyes cannot focus properly... go to toilet to remove T________T the same old self-invented rubbing way.. in the end my left eye got red... and the skin near my right eyelid is so pink and sore right now (because I keep on pushing it open).. I think I have a bruise around that area (it hurts when I press down, I don't think it's a pimple) sobz.... T________T
Blubbs tell me why la... Why am I so useless?? First time wearers can get the contact lens in both eyes after few hours.. I try for few days can only get one eye T___T Tell me why... sobz... Teach me how to wear lah..
Hoho.. so go back home and practice lor... After so so so so so many hours, somehow I managed to get the right contact lens in my eye.. I forgot how I did it.. divine intervention maybe.. Nevertheless it felt really great to have nice vision! Even though abit weird, like there's some rubber band in my eye.. But sigh.. no matter how I try I can't get the left one in Then while I'm talking to my mum and my aunt (her family and my grandparents came down from KL for a visit ^^).. the right contact lens just fell out from my eyelid!!!!!! =_____________________= Fine fine... FINE..
Next day, practice time again... But no success.. not even one eye, so sad.. My left shoulder is aching badly.. I think because of me lifting up my arm to pry my eyes open.. sobzzz.. T__________T But at least now I dare to touch my eyeball, but but then the lens won't stick to my eye.. it won't leave my finger... maybe I blink too much or maybe my eyes didn't open big enough...sigh... in the end I try try touch here touch there (all the wrong places!) and got my eyes red =( At night I tried again, got the right one in but it felt so uncomfortable! I think I wore the wrong side of the lens.. so had to remove.. first time remove contact lens, it was much easier though.. I just put my finger on my eye and keep moving (more like rubbing) it off the corner of my eye.. hoho.. very special method right.. why I so pathetic T___T
Today hoho... I woke up super early to try my contact lens before I go to work (Well.. err I reset my alarm clock 2 times.. each time half an hour later cuz I cannot bear to leave my cosy bed) But but still, I woke about half an hour early.. Shoulder still aching T__T Now at least I dare to look in the mirror when I'm touching my eyes instead of looking elsewhere.. got improvement right?? After don't know how many tries.. I managed to get the left one in this time.. yahoo... But then............. I can't get the right one in!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep on trying for about 20 minutes, sometimes it got in but senget.. too downwards.. so when I blink it fell off instantly... I tried until I think I'm gonna be really late if I don't move.. I didn't want to waste the time and effort I spent putting on the left contact lens.. so I left my place wearing only one contact lens. I know, very stupid idea =____= at first still can tahan, but after a few hours I felt so giddy because my eyes cannot focus properly... go to toilet to remove T________T the same old self-invented rubbing way.. in the end my left eye got red... and the skin near my right eyelid is so pink and sore right now (because I keep on pushing it open).. I think I have a bruise around that area (it hurts when I press down, I don't think it's a pimple) sobz.... T________T
Blubbs tell me why la... Why am I so useless?? First time wearers can get the contact lens in both eyes after few hours.. I try for few days can only get one eye T___T Tell me why... sobz... Teach me how to wear lah..
My irresistably cute bunny
Haiz.. he in Malaysia now.. enjoying Kampung (or maybe ghetto life).. lots of grass for him to munch on plus my mum always feeding him =_=
Err.. by the way, a very gentle friendly reminder.. my birthday is coming soon.. 2 days later.. ohoho
Err.. by the way, a very gentle friendly reminder.. my birthday is coming soon.. 2 days later.. ohoho
Saturday, July 5, 2008
An Emo a Day Keeps the Doctor at Bay
My parents just left for NYC before flying back home....
No sense of emotion has yet to set in simply because it feels as though I had just dropped them off at the mall and will be picking them up soon in an hour or so....
While I was waiting for my parents to pass through the security point at the airport, my dad waved once to say goodbye...but I felt like those stupid tears would come trickling down so instead, I told him, " Pa...don't forget to remove your shoesT_T".
Clad in a crumpled shirt and a pair of shorts, while hugging a blankie my mom left in the car, I waited for them to pass through those gates all in the watchful eye of the guard who must have looked at me like I was a potential weirdoT___________T
Funny how ironic life can get....
Among the 5 people I care most for and would love to have by my side at the top of my head:
1, 2=Parents
3=sister
4=sookimani
5=blubbie
Instead, I have 5 other people I constantly meet up with instead:
1=the mailman,maillady
2=the dog that tries to poo in front of my house
3=the man at panera who tried to clear up my plates just cause i have been sitting there for an hour stealing/no it's using their internet
4=Does patrick my toy plushie count?(oh no...i am officially a hermit in distress!!!)
5=does my car counts???????
Oh well....
On an interesting note here are some amazing entertainment moments when my parents were around:
1. My mom and I were making soap opera out of the lives of my two neighbors an older lady and a mid 40s man. they both also live in a studio just like me only two doors away.....my mom and I think that they are having an affair hohoho...okayla..romantically linked because they are both without family..affair means must be behind back right..cough....unfortunately my dad doesn't see our point in pursuing thisT_T and claims no la they are just friends....all because the man not handsome woman older=________________=
2. my father doesn't always side me!!!!!! i saw a lady must be one of the neighbors la okay around my front compound with a doggie so i instantly thought eh she brought her dog to poo in front of my house!!!!!then my mom who was in the shower came out and I told her about it...then my father says no la....not the usual dog pooing neighbor...so i agreed...adding on "ya she looks like a Jamaican lady" the you noe instead of nodding his head like a dad should...he goes" no la..where gotT_T" then i say got la see her skin color he goes...how I noe what race she isT________T the only jamaican I noe is bob marley...you tell me laT_T how to sayang him moreT_T
okay to be continued battery lari gone liao
No sense of emotion has yet to set in simply because it feels as though I had just dropped them off at the mall and will be picking them up soon in an hour or so....
While I was waiting for my parents to pass through the security point at the airport, my dad waved once to say goodbye...but I felt like those stupid tears would come trickling down so instead, I told him, " Pa...don't forget to remove your shoesT_T".
Clad in a crumpled shirt and a pair of shorts, while hugging a blankie my mom left in the car, I waited for them to pass through those gates all in the watchful eye of the guard who must have looked at me like I was a potential weirdoT___________T
Funny how ironic life can get....
Among the 5 people I care most for and would love to have by my side at the top of my head:
1, 2=Parents
3=sister
4=sookimani
5=blubbie
Instead, I have 5 other people I constantly meet up with instead:
1=the mailman,maillady
2=the dog that tries to poo in front of my house
3=the man at panera who tried to clear up my plates just cause i have been sitting there for an hour stealing/no it's using their internet
4=Does patrick my toy plushie count?(oh no...i am officially a hermit in distress!!!)
5=does my car counts???????
Oh well....
On an interesting note here are some amazing entertainment moments when my parents were around:
1. My mom and I were making soap opera out of the lives of my two neighbors an older lady and a mid 40s man. they both also live in a studio just like me only two doors away.....my mom and I think that they are having an affair hohoho...okayla..romantically linked because they are both without family..affair means must be behind back right..cough....unfortunately my dad doesn't see our point in pursuing thisT_T and claims no la they are just friends....all because the man not handsome woman older=________________=
2. my father doesn't always side me!!!!!! i saw a lady must be one of the neighbors la okay around my front compound with a doggie so i instantly thought eh she brought her dog to poo in front of my house!!!!!then my mom who was in the shower came out and I told her about it...then my father says no la....not the usual dog pooing neighbor...so i agreed...adding on "ya she looks like a Jamaican lady" the you noe instead of nodding his head like a dad should...he goes" no la..where gotT_T" then i say got la see her skin color he goes...how I noe what race she isT________T the only jamaican I noe is bob marley...you tell me laT_T how to sayang him moreT_T
okay to be continued battery lari gone liao
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Random pic
Lol.. was digging for pictures to send to a family friend... and I chose this representative picture to send (the most recent pic with most of the family inside mah) My brother's convocation.. and sexy me with makeup (I know my hair is messy la.. I haven't had a haircut for months during that time)
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